The Kilted Baker and I have been working on wedding registries, and I’d just like to put the following out there: just because a famous designer’s name is on it, doesn’t mean that it’s tasteful.

If you don’t believe me, please note a certain designer’s line for Crane’s Paper. I guess it’s cute, but where is that $480 dollars going to put you if you have to write a sympathy note? Running out on an errand for more writing paper, that’s where.

This in no way has to do, of course, with the fact that I kinda hate the crystal by aforementioned designer that I felt a little pressured into registering for. I need to get better about speaking up! I actually have to e-mail or call our wedding florist to say, “uhm, I was too shy to point these things out, but…can you give me some brighter colors for the roses in those centerpieces?” At least she’s excited about our wildflower desires. “It’s so much fun to work without orchids!”

Of course, we did register for china with another fashion designer’s name on it, but I love it: Vera Wang/Wedgwood Vera Lace. You will all need to come over for a (very tasteful) meal once we have a home together, and eat off it.

IN OTHER RANTS: Just because you *can* monogram it, doesn’t mean you should. Things that can be tastefully monogrammed: letter paper, handkerchiefs, luggage, the occasional very subtle piece of jewelry, fine silver, guest towels-if-you’re-that-kind-of-person (maybe; check with your local authority before confirming your order). Things that should NOT be monogrammed: evening bags, glassware, travel mugs (although this is tempting because we have some mug-stealing finks in our common room– maybe if only done very, very, tastefully, and even with the toile, I’m agnostic), anything that you might want to pass down to the next baby, underwear (please can we stop with the “Bride” panties thing? Please?), and flipflops. But why are you wearing flipflops, anyway? I sternly judge you.. I do love this umbrella even though it is in terrible taste, for reason of abovementioned finks. Yes, I’m terribly excited about acquiring a new letter to my name, but you don’t see me going around emblazoning everything from here to Etobicoke with A. S .H (or, for the wedding, A. S. T.), do you?

(I do kinda want one of these with my married monogram, maybe with the wedding date on the back, to wear in my newlywed glee…especially now that my miraculous medal is getting me attention from creepy Catholic men.)

Things like this are why our landfills are overflowing and we can’t keep money in our bank accounts. When Kolya and I stayed with his friends in England, they were just done hosting a friend’s wedding. The bride came downstairs wearing a pair of overalls with “Mrs Weasley” (not her real name) embroidered down the back. “My family bought it for me!” she exclaimed to our astonished hostess (K. and I were warming ourselves by the stove and waiting for tea). “Where did they get such a thing?” asked Mrs. G. “America!” announced the mother of the bride. “Ah,” said Mrs. G. “of course.”

While we’re here, can we also place a moratorium on unity candles, unity water-pouring, and unity colored-sand bottles that look like a state fair craft project. We get it! You’re united! The unity object doesn’t make that happen any more than it already has!

On another topic entirely, since we’re going to be splurging on the bed we buy for our(!) home: wouldn’t you be worried to set up your home with a bed named for Guinevere?

I’ve recently got it in my head (and am obsessing over) 1) getting silhouettes done of the KB and I to frame and put on the library mantle in our reception venue, and then in our(!) home, and 2) going to the East Coast in the New Year to see my half-dozen or so friends living in the NYC area.

I need to get a haircut before I go to the UBC conference to give my paper.

It would be easier to keep my hair tidy if somebody didn’t always go around stealing my hair ties.

That same somebody killed her first mouse on Tuesday. She pouted for hours after I took it away from her (it was quite dead and mysteriously flat).

That same somebody is glaring at me to go to bed, so I guess that’s the end of the ranting (for now).